There are many reasons for children disobeying and behaving badly. But basically, they behave badly for four main reasons.
Causes
Fight for attention
In order for a child to fully develop intellectually, emotionally and physically, he definitely needs parents to show their attention to this development and to himself, and to show it constantly, in large numbers. To support and help in difficult situations. To be proud and happy for him, when everything turns out. Parents understand that this should be done - and do it with pleasure, how much and how they can, and believe that a lot, but ... mom hurry to finish lunch, she still has a mountain of washing ahead, she needs to pat a lot, find five minutes for tea. But dad, who later returned from work, has only one thought - to eat and sleep, he does not care either at home or the child ...
So the little one has to disobey and be mean, to hear reproaches, curses and remarks from his parents, but - most importantly, he forces them to draw their attention to himself. Not a very pleasant way, but even so ...
The struggle for self-affirmation
At the age of one and a half years, the child begins to manifest “I myself”. During the crisis of three years, it blooms especially brightly. And if adults infringe on children this impulse for independent behavior, self-expression, then the children's reaction to this is very sensitive. And when parents build their communication with the children mainly on the basis of comments and constantly tell the child how to and how not to, it becomes generally difficult.Father and his mother believe that by doing this they bring up education, accustom minors to order, promote the formation of good habits in their child and protect him from mistakes. And what they do is important and right.
But the way how to do it is also important. With frequent comments and advice, too harsh orders and criticism, the child’s reaction mechanism works and he rebels. He needs to somehow show others (and establish himself in this himself) that he is a person who has feelings, some thoughts, desires, has every right to make a decision himself and to do things as he needs. The fact that the decision is not right is not important for him, the main thing is his personal decision.
Desire to take revenge
Such behavior occurs according to the principle - they say that you have done bad to me, even if it will be bad for you too! Usually inside the child at this time there is a lot of negativity in relation to relatives, as a rule - an insult. The little one cannot express his emotions, “boiling” occurs inside him, but is expressed in disobedience, hooliganism, and any protests. There are many reasons for the occurrence of “grievances” - parents quarreled, divorced, sent for a long time to their grandmother, brother or sister, paid more attention to him than to him and so on.
Lost self-confidence
When a child experiences bad experiences, accumulates setbacks, or criticizes, all this moves to other areas of his life. For example, failures in the Russian language and deuces on this subject smoothly pass to quarrels with classmates, to poor behavior in the home.
The reason for this is low self-esteem, all accumulated failures lead to the fact that self-confidence is reduced.And inside, confidence begins to form - they say, you should not try, anyway there will be no result, and the behavior begins on the principle - “I absolutely do not care” and “since they consider me bad - that means I will be”
And, behaving this way, the child signals to adults - they say, I can’t deal with this, but I don’t know how to let you know this. An adult has every opportunity to help him in this situation. To do this, you just need to stop criticizing, reproaching and understanding - for what reason the child developed such behavior, and choose other ways with it.
